


Pour Un Flirt Avec Toi

by CatChan



Series: I love the 1796 Verse! [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 'Tis an awesome song, 't was a pain to do, And smart, Art, But I am French so forgive me, Creep-book, Earth-1796, Epistolary, Humor, I need to stop tagging, I painted that photo myself!, M/M, News Articles, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Public Kissing, Tabloids, The tittle is a French song!, Tony is sly, Transcripts, Ty on the other hand is downright creepy, Tychosis, Yes I know how to tag properly just not in the mood, add-on to a great fic, but disguised as a bet/dare, by the way, ehm what else, kiss, scrapbook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1479106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatChan/pseuds/CatChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you haven't read  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/972937">1796 Broadway</a> yet, I advise you to go NOW before even stepping further into this, this contains Spoilers on chapter 358 (you have been warned). Direct divergent follow up on <span class="u">This night will never end</span> I could also have titled it 358 bis+ter+...</p><p> </p><p>Ty is a creep. Ty is the creepiest creep that creeps, just, sometimes, he has interesting ideas...<br/>The stalking journal is not one of those, though, and it shouldn't be left where fangirls can see it, tch, amateurs</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pour Un Flirt Avec Toi

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [1796 Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/972937) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 
  * Inspired by [The Prodigal Son](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1441621) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof). 



> This is where I normally abuse the note function to tell my life, but instead, I'll put the lyrics of the song I titled this after ^^ and even a bad translation! You all are so lucky!
> 
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you  
> Je ferais n'importe quoi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I'd do anything  
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt, with you  
> Je serais prêt à tout _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _I'd be up for anything  
> Pour un simple rendez-vous _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For one single plain date  
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you
> 
> Pour un petit tour, un petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, a short day  
> Entre tes bras _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your arms  
> Pour un petit tour, au petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, at daybreak  
> Entre tes draps _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your sheets
> 
> Je pourrais tout quitter _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _I could drop everything  
> Quitte à faire démodé _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Even if it's outdated  
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you  
> Je pourrais me damner _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _I could get damned  
> Pour un seul baiser volé _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _For a single stolen kiss  
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you
> 
> Pour un petit tour, un petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, a short day  
> Entre tes bras _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your arms  
> Pour un petit tour, au petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, at daybreak  
> Entre tes draps _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your sheets
> 
> Je ferais l'amoureux _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I'd play the lover's part  
> Pour te câliner un peu _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _To get some cuddling with you  
> Pour un flirt avec toi _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you  
> Je ferais des folies_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _I would go with anything  
> Pour arriver dans ton lit_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ If it lands me in your bed  
> Pour un flirt avec toi_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a flirt with you
> 
> Pour un petit tour, un petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, a short day  
> Entre tes bras _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your arms  
> Pour un petit tour, au petit jour _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ For a short spin, at daybreak  
> Entre tes draps _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Into your sheets
> 
>  
> 
> God! I can't believe I just did that! I have no talents at lyrics translation (mostly truthful, but absolutely unmelodious, dang!) Hey, you know what just go and listen to the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHm2Kebxbo8), why don't you?
> 
> * * *

**January 17, 2014** Maria Stark foundation gala: Captain America case.                                                                                                    PAGE 2/2

 

Revelant oral conversation:

* * *

 

**[TIE PIN MIKE  V1.2.1: DIALOG TRANSCRIPT FUNCTION: ACTIVATED]**

**Ty** : Do you really believe captain america will let you lead, Tony? I don't think he will, personally.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : How much do you wanna bet that he'll let me lead And dip him?

 **Ty** : Bet doesn't stand, not with the muscles you're sporting there, even I would let myself get dipped by you. Now, a kiss, that I would pay to see...

 **Tony** : Wanna open a pool for the kiss proposition? Once it hits two hundred thousand, we'll consider it. Everything goes to charity, captain... Well that is if Ana allows it, of course.

 **Ana** : If it is for a good cause... But I want front seats, then

 **Jan** : Sixty in the pool!

 **Ty** : Aw, but there is only one me! And the pools tend to be cold at this time of the night, we would know, wouldn't we, Tony, remember that time when...

 **Tony** : Stop! Not talking about that one, or I'll bring up 1996!

 **Ty** : Not bothering me, that was a fun one too, but back on track, I am totally putting one hundred in the pool We only need forty more.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Tink! Tink tink tintintintink!  
 _Note: go back down in the code to make this program smarter, it should recognize when something in't said by a human. -T_

 **Tony** : Hey there ladies and gentlemen! You all know me, I assume, if not personally, at least from the TV, newspaper, or whatever else landed you all there. Since I am the host, I am now supposed to say a miles long discourse that will make you all smile politely and think "when the hell does he stop so we can eat?" Since I know that, a part of my popularity comes from he fact that I usually cut the discourse to a simple "Thanks to everyone who made it possible, thanks to you for being there, and thank you mom, this is still a bit of you..." Then a "bon appetit", and everyone is happy, especially me, since I did't even have to rehearse! And oh look, I already said my part! The waiter staff can start serving, that would be great. Now, I am getting a bit off track, if you don't mind, while everyone gets a plate... My friend here bet one bet a hundred thousand dollar to the maria stark foundation that captain America, or Steve rogers, for those who want the name and not the tag, won’t dance with me after the dinner is done. I welcome you to join the wager too if you want to, but you have no obligation to, especially since I have no authority as accountant, and therefore, if one wins the bet, he'll just not have to donate the promised amount, even for me, it seems like a poorly paying decision...

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** (Error in identification: too many tones): Hahahaha!

 **Tony** : And! since dear Ty likes to find pretexts to donate for the good cause while still looking like an ass, he also placed a hundred thousand in the "let's see if we can pressure captain America into kissing Tony with the promise of charitable donation" pool! Sine Jan put in sixty thousand too, and I promised in his stead that he'd do it once we hit two hundreds, we are only lacking forty more! If you wish to donate for the good cause of seeing that, you are welcome to wave my new peehai, Becky, over, hey, just do a Vulcan salute, so she's sure you really are calling her and not illustrating a point enthusiastically.  
 _Note: This should have more than just the minimal orthographic correction, need to include slang and initials (PA= peehai, seriously?) -T_

 **Becky** (half tone): You ass!

 **Tony** : Dear, I told you that when I recruited you, you should have believed me... Now, I have to warn you, since it is Steve we are talking about, he'll probably go for the kind of peck on the cheek us normal people use to say hello, so getting a bit more than two hundreds might be a good idea, he'll feel he has to put on a worthwhile show. You know his shows? He is good at those, just have to convince him it is worth putting one up. I think this is all. You are welcome to taste the menu my chefs put together. Becky will tell us the content of the pool when the first dance is over, so you may take your time to consider.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I can't believe you did that!

 **Ana** : I, on the other hand, totally can!

 **Ty** : You said you'd do anything for charity? God, this is golden! Can I have an exclusive interview for one of my papers later? It'll be good news coverage, a bit of publicity for your mom's charity, and it'll give all the journalists out there something new to talk about, that's one of the big thing about Media, the best way to quiet a scandal is to create an even bigger one. Hey, don't look at me like that, Tony I didn't say it!

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : The fight fire with fire strategy? Isn't it one of the surest way to end up with a fire twice as big?

 **Ty** : Not when it is done correctly. If the kiss is satisfying, I'll make sure everyone sees it as a good deed.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : This is reverse blackmail, isn't it?

 **Tony** : Welcome in hell, cap, that's one of Ty's specialties.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Click 

 **[TIE PIN MIKE  V1.2.1: DIALOG TRANSCRIPT FUNCTION: DEACTIVATED]**  
{Saving...}

* * *

 

Descriptive article:

* * *

  **Kiss it all better** Tony Stark and Captain America together on the cause of homophobia

We know lots of things have been done to make people react for a good cause, by example charity auctions, where some celebrities sometimes concede to have one of their personal items sold to the benefit of a charity organization. But what happened yesterday night was certainly new. For one, the word "pool" works better than auction, because no less than 150 persons donated separately, bringing the sum up to 5.8 millions dollars, secondly, there is the nature of the treat proposed, that was, in fact, a kiss.

A very interesting kiss, that is true, because it involved Tony Stark, our favorite billionaire philanthropist, and hero when he can find the time; and the one and only American Icon Captain America, even if "Steve Rogers" seems more appropriate, as he was out of the uniform (but into a very flattering suit) for the occasion.

 

 Of course as interesting as the picture in itself is, and even considering I would pay to see this too, it is not everything.

According to the up and coming stylist Janet Van Dyne, third highest bidder in the pool (after Tiberius Stone, the owner of Viastone, and... Tony Stark himself, who both gave out five hundred thousand), the idea started as a simple bet over the first dance following dinner, but escalated into this kiss-dare because of Tiberius Stone -Ty, as she calls him- "It is partly Tony's fault too. I suspect he did it just have an opportunity to rub against those shaped pectorals... I should have brought up the kiss auction up first, I am so jealous! But maybe I'll have a chance later, who knows, Tony invited me over in his Avenger frat house." When asked about romantic involvement, she said that she "can't imagine Steve entering a three ways relationship, a shame, really, it would be so sexy..." but that "Ana is an incredible person, and whoever manages to catch her attention is very unlikely to let it go at all. She was there, when the bet started and agreed to the idea in exchange for a spot where she could see. Really, I don't see that episode changing the relationship between the two of them at all!" 

After the kiss, that was still awfully chaste, for a multi millions dollars kiss, Tony Stark accepted to answer a few questions from me. There are his answer:

 **Q** : You were awfully stiff here, even with a smile, this is unusual...

 **Tony Stark** : What, wanted me to traumatize our poor Captain with a surprise neck-hold and Frenching? I work with the guy, can't let him hold a grudge against me. Bedsides all those considerations, Steve is way stronger than me, and the kiss was meant to come from him not me. I know I suck at boundaries, but I can respect them, sometimes...

 **Q** : So, we know the donation harvested in this campaign, but would mind to give us further insights on what this money will be used on?

 **Tony Stark** : Thank you for this question, that I have been waiting for. The Maria Stark Foundation is involved in a lot of different fights, from illness researches, to shelter founding, to mentality changes, and mutual respect, and it has been decided that the donations from this particular pool would all go to the fight against homophobia, after all, what could be more fitting? Additionally, I don't think anyone will protest against this particular use of these donations I doubt people willing to give their money out so Captain America might kiss me will think gays and lesbians are disgusting...

 **Q** : Is there anything you intend to do with the pictures?

 **Tony Stark** : That bit depends on Steve. I was thinking it might be good for an add campaign, or we might sell posters of it at the homophobia cause benefits, but I definitely won't do it if Steve doesn't want to. Once again, boundaries, everything...

There, we have it, a kiss to open people minds. Truthfully, if there is one person I'd like to reenact the charming prince and magic kiss with, it would be Captain America. Wonder if he would also give fairytale kisses if I fainted?

ViaNews, 01/17/2014, 23:19

Alicia Wonders

* * *

Records of the ride back and arrival: 01/17/2014-23h10 to 23h30

* * *

**[WATER SOLUBLE BUG V1.1.1 REMOTE ACTIVATION CONTROL ACCEPTED]**  
{ORDER: Speech to text battery economizing mode}  
{Order accepted}  
{Receiving transmission} 

**Captain Steve Rogers** : That was crazy. Tony, you... You're crazy. I can't believe you forced me to do that...

 **Tony** : You did that on your own, soldier, even the journalist noticed I left you the total lead.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I kissed you.

 **Tony** : Heh! Like it's anything new.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I kissed you in public, in front of a camera.

 **Tony** : Yup. That was totally hot, even if you could have Frenched it.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : What? Tony, you're nuts.

 **Tony** : What about my nuts?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : God! Can't you behave for a second?

 **Tony** : Nope

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : hhh, and I guess you can't keep your hands to yourself either?

 **Tony** : Not even to save my life.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : You're a right handful, you know that?

 **Tony** : I'm shocked, I didn't know you could make jokes on size!

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Is everything sexual to you?

 **Tony** : Only when you are involved.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I guess I should be thankful for that? ... Hah!

 **Tony** : That too, if you want...

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : God, you're so... Tony! we're in the car!

 **Tony** : And?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : And I would like you to refrain at least until we get home, I don't wish to traumatize the chauffeur.

 **Tony** : Captain! It is my chauffeur! D'you really think they'd get traumatized by that?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I'd be traumatized. You don't want to traumatize me, right?

 **Tony** : Isn't innocent, blushing Steve Rogers is curious about cars too?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I can manage to be, but in that case it would be one that doesn't have a chauffeur in it!

 **Tony** : That a promise?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Only if you remove your hands in less than ten seconds, Iron Man!

 **Tony** : Aw. You know, if you want me to behave, you'd better avoid the Captain tone.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Hhha, dully noted. Hand. Out. Now!

 **Tony** : Ha... I really don't know. You are so sexy, I can't help myself...

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Bang!

 **Tony** : Hah. Seen that way... Come on. forget the chauffeur. Let's...

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Tch hh pp  
 _Note: make the software able to recognize onomatopoeias and transcript them instead of noting them down. -T_

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : No.

 **Tony** : No? God you can't just stop like that!

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I can, and I... am.

 **Tony** : Whaat? No, come back here, Steve!

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Chauffeur.

 **Tony** : Then when we're home...

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Do you even doubt it?

 **Tony** : ... No. No I don't. Okay. Cooling down... Ah, while we're here, the journalist asked what we'd do about that photo. I thought we could make it into a poster, something annotated with a message of tolerance. I was thinking something along the lines of "There is something wrong in there... They work together!" You know, a way to say the gay part is not the real problem...

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Is it really necessary?

 **Tony** : Let me get this straight, Steve. That was not about us. Well it is, but the goal isn't to sugarcoat "us" it is to make world at large accept gays are people too. Do you know how many youngsters spend hours banging heads on walls thinking "I am not normal I am a monster, I should not look at her slash him that way, I should be attracted to boys slash girls instead"? I did that too. If I can spare even one kid from going through that, then I think it is worth it.  
 _Note: software should also be able to recognize spoken punctuation (slash, dot, etc...). -T_

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : You... You think it could work?

 **Tony** : I think so.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : What about the publicity it casts on us? When there's not supposed to be an "us"?

 **Tony** : You can always say what I told you, and that you're not above collecting a bit of dirt, if it's for the greater good... In fact, it'll make people like you more, while reducing the credibility of "us". I mean if we were an "us" we wouldn't do that? So the fact that we do makes "us" even less conspicuous. don't know if that's clear...

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I think it is. So in short, it would be some sort of intox? Give a true info out assuming everyone will assume you're lying?

 **Tony** : Exactly. But if you don't want to, then I won't do it, of course.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : ... You know what? Go ahead. If people figure it out, we'll think about it then.

 **Tony** : Good. I'll send a note to Maria Stark foundation staff, so they can start to think on it.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Click.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : We are there sirs.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Ah. Thanks.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Welcome.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Slam.

 **Tony** : C'mon. You promised me something, and we are home.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Are you for real?

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Click Slam

 **Tony** : Yeah. I... Hhhaaaah. God, yes, that's it.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Crunch.

 **Tony** : Ouch. Up against the wall, really?

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : I like the walls. I even lovingly hand-painted them... Hhhh.

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Crack, crii... Frshhhh.

 **Tony** : Ah Go-

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Frshhhh. Crr... fshcrcr.

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : Bu-

 **Unidentified Vocal Print** : Cracr Frshhh

 **Captain Steve Rogers** : me Steve.

 **Tony** : Ah! St-

{Error: signal interrupted.}  
{Awaiting further commands}  
{Name of the file?}  
{Saving under: C:\Tony_Stark\Casefile_Captain_America\Audio_Surveillance\01/17/2014-23h10-23h30_Maria_Stark_Gala_ride_back ...}  
{Saved}

_Note: Make the water soluble bug more durable against shocks. The goal is to avoid leaving evidences behind, not to black out in the middle. -T_

* * *

Blackmail-ready photo

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a General Audiences work! Guess you all know how it is, you can't put Steve and Tony in a car and expect it to stay descent. Tony is just insufferable that way! It's like the character has a will of his own, it won't let me lead the plot the way I wanted to.


End file.
